MadPoet`s Profile

About Me

I'm a 45 year old ex-logger who just happens to, also, be a 27 year veteran of the War With Cancer. I refuse to die. I like to say that I'm a sign of the Last Days. Truth is I'm more afraid and meaner than most, Quicker too. I smoke, drink, and (most dangerous)I'm a Man-Whore. I once lived like I might die. Loved ones understood. But, I'm still here. And I Miss many of those loved ones who have gone home before me in every heart scarring way-even cancer. I asked God for a son. He's a handsome grown smart-ass now (healthy). But as a small boy he worried so that I might leave him. So I promised that the Angels would have to come and take me. And they should bring swords. "I'm the toughest man you Know." I said. I'm a bit older and logging doesn't suit me as well, though I loved the office. So I taught myself a thing or two, or ten whilst I was in a holding pattern (healing from surgery, chemo, radiation). I learned to type, then build web pages, then Office, and so on. I finally convinced "Uncle Sam" after 10 years that I was worth training and they gave me this Dell that I'm not supposed to alter. It cost about $1000. It's nice. And Fuck 'em. I use beta versions of everything, I put in 16gigs of ram, and soon an SSD. I paid and will pay taxes again. I look forward to paying taxes? So this Dell is mine until I want better. I hate low -level gov't employees that act like you bother them when you use the system to better yourself. I know they deal with leeches and entitled welfare rats all day but in the end, they work for me. When I'm in a successful career better than theirs, I'll give them full credit and a full moon. Dept. of Voc. Rehab. only gave me (oh, loaned me) this laptop after I got loans without them and was at the very tip top of the head my classes with a 3.89 gpa at ITT (took a shit on me)TECH. I think the low-level assholes who always told me there was no money, no training, no hope. It was like they were saying."Just be happy with your shitty little check and food stamps until-Why won't you die!" Well, someone, had I think one of the low-life or level assholes had to explain to their asshole boss who heard about it from his asshole boss who got an email from a computer sitting on the desk of ASSHOLE ROYALTY. ASSHOLE ROYALTY, I imagine had to ask how I didn't qualify for one of THEIR suck ass push broom programs that pays his FATTER THAN HIS ASS salary because its wildly over funded and over staffed to over train underachievers pull up their pants and pretend to appreciate THE PROGRAM and potential part-time employment polishing port a potties! Probably procuring practical employment past payday so they can party past the piss-test into Part 2 of THE PROGRAM that pours pity on the poor product of peer parenting..Pathetic. ***I pray every day that I can keep progressing toward that career. Lord, forgive me but I have my sin of pride and I cannot die while I might be compared to, associated with, or sucking on the same gov't tit as those lazy fQ@2!!a!! I'm an honest man-a brave man of God. I ask for a degree that there be record of some accomplishment. I ask for an oral surgeon with the nerve and the skill to pull my rotten teeth from my radiated jawbone so that my pain not be "in my face" and I can go back to ignoring it. And so I won't be judged before my work is. Mostly my pride just wants to make my loved ones proud. Amen? Yah. Amen. And more gaming before I get back to Visual Studios and make a few. If you read this, be so bold as to share yourself with me. And I'm going to find a way to get 3ghz out of this dang i5 5200u. Its a wonderful, reliable, "true" dual core so 2.5 or 2.7 is twice and very fast. I've overclocked, maxed out the page filing size, downloaded, installed, done Fibonacci sequence calculus, while playing games, listening to music, and skyping. Yes, she crashed. My point is most crash way before. I love the i5.